THE EVERY NIGHT

I am on the edge again.

Nearly at the end of the whole world, I stood.

Don't know what they say they see.

All I saw was the ocean and you.

The ocean spreading it's arms under  the parasitic sky.

Wants me to embrace him, the one last time before he forms a cloud.

Always scared of missing out something, he hated to evaporate.

For he didn't want to watch me from far, if he then was imprisoned in cloud when I dropped by.

For once I visited with the monsoon.

The only time it grabbed the potency to feel my skin.

It kissed me on my cheek and rested there; still.

When it fell with the raindrops.

You too my love, loved me less, like my love for the ocean

You let me stare at you; though far enough.

You let me smile at you; though just enough.

You let me sing to you; though just unheard.

You let me hold you, so much as to save you from falling;

Even for me.

You let me evaporate, far far away

So far to let me go.

You imprison me in your thoughts; day and night and every second in between.

I release it all in the drops that fall from my cheek.

Too lucky the ocean, too unlucky am I.

He gets to touch me, while I pride over my platonic lover.

It  kisses my cheek and rest there still, as the tear that doesn't fall.

The tear was made out of you, and everything you did inside of me.

I hold peace in my tear.

As it is the closest I could get of you touching me.

And I stand on the edge of the world each day, staring at my favorite ocean.

Waiting for morning, amidst one more night.

Ocean and me being no different.

Except we want different lovers.

Happy pearl day.

We are mere waves. We will go away to mix back with the waters.
While everyone else is fixated upon worldly ideas, and hold on to their earthly beings.
We wave off to our adventurous ride.
Let the magic begin.
Find me at the end of all the musical nights.
The far fetched shores.
The never ending plight.
I am the lamp you don't need to oil to keep the light. You can as well say "you are effortlessly mine."
I am the direction no map would guide. For the end of the world the say do no exist.
But it does in me. For there has to be an end to this plight.
I am not the death, oh lover.
I am the moment that follows
The breath of eternity you breathe once you are done with the finite.
I am no angel. I am no devil.
I am the one you find at the doorway when you reach.
For I prepare you with all the good things, and the sweet words and the blue tie and the handkerchief.
I prepare you for your final calling.
For you who have met the waters and become the wave.
Will now be promoted to a sea shell.
I shun each cell I have of me, of good and bad.
of sweet and pretty,
of love and love,
to make you a pearl.
I give up each part of me to dress you up in the prettiest thing.
Like a mother or the almighty,
I dress you up for the new beginning.
To be born to adorn.
The waves like me.
.
I save you from the perishable, so not again ever do you have to be a wave that dies with water.
Rather make you the pearl that lives within.
I'll touch past you each morning.
I'll cover and safe guard you from the envious stars at night.
I'll shadow you from the sun in the afternoon.
I'll shoo away the lover who tries to hand you over to his beloved in the evening.
For you belong with me.
While I make you imperishable, I perish to save you each day.
I make you the pearl to be made love to by many waves that may come and go, I just one of them.
I shine you, but make myself anonymous for your fame.
And when I will look silver under the moonlight.
I'll say your name.

Unlocated Fiction

Nothing is worse than the unbridled emotions that ride at the pace of your heartbeats, jumps the fences of social barriers and falls in the dooms of reality to never get back up again.

The knees being weak enough to not being able to carry the dam brimming fervour calls for my fall at every feet that enters my isolated room.

There is a dawn to every dark night, they say. I didn’t hear them talking about definite rivers which could fade away the passionate fires that burns with the night and continues in the day to continue again in the night. The fucking never ending plight.

I feel too much. I think too much. Connecting the wrong kind of strings and mistaking them as my destiny which are mere coincidences ended me up like an empty pond waiting for monsoon in the middle of a never ending autumn. There is a lot inside of me. But not every story rich in subplots become a best seller. Some books are better kept locked inside the cupboards amidst the dusty old libraries that remain in as much solitude as my book. The pages inside of them might have fled away until now, unread and destroyed.

“It was too dark to locate me”, he said.

“I thought you were the light”, I said.

Reckoning it the very next moment as I had misread another piece of cold fire which has burnt probably more than me. Which doesn’t seek water no more, but seeks redemption in flying as ashes. Probably then it would touch and deposit on my pages which have flown from the book in the library. Mating at last. Too late for you to read me, too early for us to not meet. While I’d wait for you in the worldly world, you would rejoice me in the heaven of heavens for two worldly lovers were never done justice. Until they died to create history.

FROM WHO I AM TO WHAT AM I?

It intrigues me to still not know what I really am. From the existential question I have shifted to the perennial question From who I am I have shifted to what am I? What makes up this little body and enormous believes? This thin skin and thicker kins? This cold touch and the wild June nights? This walking wardrobe and nothing to Cover from the cold. This open book and stories untold This all ears deception to words not heard. This visionary loss that puts the blame on darkness. The time goes back in time to ask the rhetorical question. As to what? Really what am I?

Evil Muse

Impersonal as much as it might be ,
Poetry always has shades of me.
Though not dyed deep in my color or soaked in my fragrance , it still carries an aura of my being. It caresses me during the futile nights be it boredom or romance. It fights with my demons but just to make way for the evil conquerors.
They now reside with me, higher than me.
My palace hosts the enemy's flag with as much pride as it did mine. Without knowing the difference it stands still, smiling at the passers by. Its ruled by me, me who's ruled by evil. Evil who made its way through my joys and made a sluggish room of my desires. Know they lie there both evil and aloof. Merry making.
Lighting candles carved out of my skin. Drinking wine, wasting all the fluid inside me. Tearing my masks it exposes me naked to make a flag of whatever is left. The flag still stands and smiles at the passers by. Made in red and burned at edges is the new sign. Hanging on my walls is the sludge driven out of your hellish instincts. Vacate my palace ,oh evil muse for its been a long time.
My lover is waiting for the reply of his letter. And he appreciates only light romance..

wine glass and you.

"Haven't you gulped down too much for the night?" he asked mockingly.

He put away my wine glass from my hand to let it rest on the balcony wall.

I poured the wine out of the glass dampening the wall.

"Only this has been as intoxicating since you left"

Goodbye second lover.

She held back her head. Leaned  to the right side of the bed. Played  her favorite song.  Loudly.  Then  softer.  Looked  down. All  dark.  The same fucking air. The air, your aura. That doesn’t change. She looked down. Just like 5 years back she looked down and  said goodbye to the first love. Now was the turn of the second to go. Now is the time. She held back her head. Leaned to the right side of the bed. Played her favorite song. Loudly. Then softer. Looked down. Screams." Not the same air anymore. Please not the same air." She stood up. This time eyes stood up too. Moves  forward. Opens the window. Slides down the curtain. Smiles.  Real  smile. Old air not there anymore. Not suffocating anymore. Un chained. Bridle less. Run, fly, be happy, be whatever. Oh how I missed me. Smiles. Laughs.

Goodbye second lover. Best wishes. Finally.

Lights a  cigarette.

“My hair smell good, again.  To me.”